The Curve That Sets Everything Straight
by yellowbricks
Summary: "Orihime's guide to smiling: 1. Put two fingers at either corner of your mouth. 2. Pull both fingers up. 3. Repeat until smile looks natural." ... The woman has a lot of nerve.
1. Chapter 1

Ulquiorra, for the life of him, could not understand the woman. Walking in his usual poised yet nonchalant manner, he made his way down to the woman's quarters, his head full of thoughts. When he mentally harassed her, she broke down, and even once, slapped him in the face. That of course, Ulquiorra could understand.

Yet, much to Ulquiorra's chagrin, she still remained hopeful. Looking out the high, slated window, staring at the solitary moon, as if expecting someone to swoop down and rescue her. With that pathetic smile on her face.

Ulquiorra definitely did not like the pathetic face she makes when she's crying, in fact, he preferred not to see it, because if he did he feels a strange tugging in his chest that he does not like at all. He did not understand the cause of such a sensation.

However, that pathetic smile annoyed him to no end. Ulquiorra knew that the woman would be considered a beautiful one in the human world, even if he did not care much for aesthetics. He admitted (to himself, of course) that the woman's smile is stunningly radiant, but her sappy yet beautiful smile irritated him for reasons he was not sure of. It's because she is wasting her smile on a lost cause, he would repeat to himself. Yes, her little friends will not last one minute here.

It has been months. Time does not go by according to human perception here in Hueco Mundo, but Ulquiorra knew that by human standards, about six months has passed since he heartlessly kidnapped the woman.

'Heartlessly'. Ulquiorra scoffed. He was anything but one with a heart. He absent-mindedly fingered the gaping hole, where his heart is supposed to be. There was no rhythmic pounding, no signs of life, yet he lives. That was enough proof that hearts are for the deluded. They think they can feel more than just a cold, cruel world, but the world they find so full of life, hope, and emotion, is not that. It is, indeed, a cold, cruel world. If Ulquiorra, the one who was not blinded by useless emotions, saw that the world was cold and cruel, it is that, and nothing more, for he withholds the power to see all.

His thoughts came to a stop as he saw the double white doors, leading to the woman's cell. Suddenly, realisation hit him. He was doing it again! Pondering about the woman, when she is obviously trash. Why waste thoughts on her? He mentally berated himself for letting his thoughts wander to the woman. However, this mental scolding was definitely not the first. Even when realisation hit him earlier, Ulquiorra swore that he felt his green eyes widen fractionally. Betraying any sort of emotion he felt, no matter how slight, on his face, was pathetic. What was coming over him? Is having to babysit a measly human doing strange things to him?

But indeed, the woman had changed. Her emotional vulnerability had been incredibly high the first few months she had been here. Ulquiorra remembered how he could twist that constantly depressed expression into one completely awash with tears. However it was not long before he felt that tugging sensation in his chest whenever the woman broke down. "Pathetic," he said, though actually not directing this at the woman. He tried to break her morale for a few more weeks, suffering that strange tugging at his chest, but recently, the woman has stopped her pathetic antics, which he was secretly a bit thankful for. Instead, she would look at him with a melancholic expression, one that, he decided, mirrored his.

This change was something that he truly did not understand. Has she grown accustomed to such treatment? She also no longer resisted his command to eat, which pleased him fairly. Yet this sudden change in behavior bothered him, even if he preferred a much more controlled being that did not wear her emotions on her sleeve. He was determined to get to the bottom of this, and ultimately to the bottom of human emotions, for he is curious of what he cannot grasp fully. This is why he has taken to observing the woman every time he visited her cell, noting that _this_ change in _his_ behavior caused the woman's cheeks to occasionally turn very slightly pink. Again, Ulquiorra did not know the root cause of the colour saturation in the woman's cheeks.

What a confusing woman. She may be trash, but she's definitely not common trash. Ulquiorra thought to himself finally. He also concluded something else. Her smile, the only positive emotion she showed here, annoyed him to a great extent.

Realising that he has not stopped thinking about the woman, he squashed any thoughts that raced to the front of his brain. He also remembered why he was here in the first place. To act on Aizen-sama's moronic task (he didn't enlighten Aizen-sama with his feelings about this particular task, obviously). He composed himself to take his normal stance of nonchalance (though he has never been anything but nonchalant), before rapping smartly on the doors. Without waiting for any reply, he entered the cell.

* * *

Orihime knew that her guardian would say that it's utterly hopeless, and she's trash for thinking otherwise. No, scratch that, she's trash and always will be trash, despite whatever she thinks or do, because trash is what everything below him is. If that is so, then why does she not harbour any intense hatred for Ulquiorra?

Orihime sighed, pushing away the thoughts of her pale captor. It has been a very, very long time since she came to Hueco Mundo. Orihime couldn't quite tell exactly how long, because her window always showed the eternal darkness that Hueco Mundo offered. But in this period of time, Orihime has soon resigned to her fate of being trapped here, but she could not deny that a small part of her still held hope, and it always will.

Is she really trapped here, though? Aizen once said, with deceivingly gentle eyes that did not fool her, "Orihime-chan, you are not a prisoner. You are one of us, and even if you deny it, you are then simply a guest," he paused for a moment, before adding, "albeit quite a deprived one."

Even if Orihime did not trust Aizen at all, she saw the truth in his words. What's the point of moping? Back in the human world, whenever she got sad about being alone without her brother, she would eventually shake off all the depressing thoughts and declare, "Why am I being sad? I cannot change what has happened! Instead, I will make Nii-chan happy by being happy myself!" And with those lines, she would rub away all her tears and make some nice red bean ice cream with Worcestershire sauce.

Similarly, Orihime declared that she will not mope any more, and be more positive about her stay in Hueco Mundo. She is, after all, a guest.

Also, Orihime didn't really need people to protect her; neither did she want to burden people by forcing them to. This is why she went to Hueco Mundo without any complaint or struggle. It is true that Ulquiorra said that her coming was 'not a request, but an order', but by submitting, part of her wanted to show people that she could take care of herself. That she is not a burden.

And that is another reason why, she decided to pull it together and not give in to Ulquiorra's and Aizen's psychological harassment. She will be strong, for Tatsuki-chan… all her friends… especially Kurosaki-kun…

Her mind was about to wander to Kurosaki-kun, and how his soft brown eyes kind of complimented his orange hair, but she instead shifted it back to Ulquiorra. Like she said, after she pulled it together, Ulquiorra soon noticed that his taunts and insults soon had little effect. Maybe that is why he stopped it altogether, and started observing her instead. Orihime also learnt to do things without struggle, so she ate Hueco Mundo's poor excuse for food without any threats of being strapped down and force fed.

So whenever she ate, Ulquiorra will sit and quietly watch. Sometimes she could feel his emerald gaze burning into her skin, which in turn made her cheeks tint with pink. She was not sure of exactly what he was doing or looking for, but she admittedly enjoyed his company.

She was about to think of Ulquiorra's vividly coloured eyes ("Such beautiful eyes, the windows of the soul, are wasted on someone who doesn't believe in souls!" she once thought aloud to herself), when someone rapped the door. She didn't bother replying because Ulquiorra immediately entered.

* * *

Ulquiorra analysed the room for a bit first, before speaking. "Woman, on Aizen-sama's orders, I am required to provide you with social interaction. Apparently this is for the benefit of your sanity." He bluntly said. With that, he sat himself down on her couch, looking at her standing form below the window.

Orihime thought she didn't hear him clearly. Social interaction? Ulquiorra? The thought was very amusing. After repeating the words in her head, for the very first time, she giggled. It sounded a bit unnatural and unreal in Orihime's ears, but it's just because she hasn't heard her own laughter in ages.

Ulquiorra, on the other hand, continued to look at her with the same indifference. "Did I say anything amusing, woman?" he asked monotonously.

Orihime bit back her last peals of laughter, waiting for Ulquiorra to elaborate. He did. "Aizen-sama says that it is important for humans to interact and be socially active, or it may drive them into depression or even insanity." Orihime immediately agreed. Sometimes she felt so lonely she imagined the strangest things, like what would Grimmjow look like if he had pink hair, and what would Szayel look like if he had blue hair, and how different Yammy would be if he spoke with a British accent, and so on.

Orihime was thinking of all the weird things she once imagined when Ulquiorra halted her thoughts. "So woman, how do you do this social interaction? Am I supposed to listen to your rambling or am I supposed to tell you about myself?" He asked this with the slightest dread in his voice.

Orihime, being the sensitive girl she is, noticed his discomfort, so she giggled some again. "Don't worry about it, Ulquiorra-san. Or Ulquiorra-sama? Or how about just Ulquiorra? Or-"

"Ulquiorra is fine, woman." He interrupted. He did not ask her how he should address her. Orihime didn't ask him to refer to her by her name either, she was glad for whatever company he offered.

Feeling tons better than she ever did at the prospect of someone to talk to, she was about to launch into a rant about purple dinosaurs and astronauts. But she held back. She didn't think Ulquiorra would appreciate that, and he probably wouldn't be able to relate with her anyway. She was very curious about Ulquiorra and arrancars in general, but yet a bit apprehensive to ask too personal questions, as she knew he was very capable of ripping out her limbs. After all, his orders were to ensure that his hostage _lived_, not to ensure that his hostage _had all of her limbs intact_.

So she asked a very basic question. "So Ulquiorra-san, uhh… where did you come from?" Darn! That question sounded much less awkward in her head, but she really wanted to know. And she knew that she was supposed to refer to Ulquiorra just by his name, but she couldn't bring herself to do it in speech.

Ulquiorra however did not appear to think it was awkward at all, nor did he seem to notice. He said smoothly, "I am not a natural arrancar, woman. Aizen-sama created me with the help of the Hogyoku."

Orihime sort of expected this answer, but she couldn't help the next question. "So when you were created were you a kid first or were you an adult? Did you just pop out of nowhere?"

"I assume that I was created just like how you see me, woman."

"Then how about the other arrancars? Are they all created artificially?"

"No, Grimmjow evolved into what he is today, and Aizen accepted him into the army because of his exceptional powers." Ulquiorra replied. He paused, as if contemplating whether it is necessary to add this, but he did anyway. "He still is trash, though. And his hair is extremely distracting. I find my attention on it whenever he is in my peripheral vision."

Orihime giggled again, a melodius soft tinkle. Before Orihime thought it through, however, she blurted out a comment.

"Ulquiorra-san, that is the only light-hearted thing you have ever said."

Ulquiorra paused. Something in his face shifted.

"Ulquiorra-san, you're not mad at me, are you? I'm sorry."

Ulquiorra felt a little shocked. How did the woman know? He hated to think that all this time he could not conceal his emotions. How weak.  
Also, Ulquiorra was mildly enjoying the banter he was making with the woman. He was slightly surprised that she had not driven him insane with her humanity yet. He found her laughter much preferable compared to her pathetic sobbing, and it did not annoy him like how her pathetic smile did.

But back to the situation at hand, Ulquiorra had noticed that the woman is quite good at sensing emotion, even if he is absolutely sure that he is concealing it. Maybe humans could truly read emotions better than arrancars can with their hypothesised 'hearts'. It was an interesting thought, and with that, Ulquiorra ground his emerald stare into the woman, as if searching for her heart.

Orihime felt highly uncomfortable when Ulquiorra was staring straight at her chest. She did not really want to know what he was thinking, but she knew that Ulquiorra was not like Nnoitra at all. As a teenager, she tried her best to hide her especially curvaceous figure, but it was not like she could help how her body developed. So she just let it be, and decided that she could defend herself from any lewd, strange man.

Orihime felt the need to break the silence, because Ulquiorra was still staring right through her chest, as if looking for something. She realised his expression was sombre and serious, like it always was. He wasn't smiling in any way. Good, that probably meant no dirty thoughts. Then it hit her, that Ulquoirra _never_ smiled.

"Ulquiorra-san, have you _ever_ smiled?"

Ulquiorra brought his gaze back to the woman's eyes.

"No."

"Why not?" Orihime immediately fired back.

Orihime was shocked. Never smiled? How is that possible? She was only greeted with silence at her question. So she decided to continue.

"But if you're not using your smile, you're like a man with a million dollars in his bank but with no checkbook! A smile is a curve that sets everything straight! Life is short but a smile takes barely a second! A smile is a light in the window of the soul indicating that the heart is at home! A smile-" Orihime was rant off another memorised quote about smiling, but she just realised that she proved Ulquiorra's point of why he never smiles in her last statement. She could tell by seeing his more pointed gaze.

"Alright fine. I know you don't believe in hearts. But that doesn't mean you can't smile! I will make you smile!"

Orihime felt a sudden rush of determination. Finally, she had a goal here in Hueco Mundo! Today is such a great day! Not only did she have someone new to talk to, she also had something to do! Her signature smile was already on her face, and she felt all her happiness rush back to her body, warming her every fibre of being. The happiness she was so well known for in the human world. Orihime will not let anyone take away that happiness now!

"I would like to see you try, woman." Ulquiorra replied after a while, with a hint of contempt to his voice.

That contempt, no matter how small, shook Orihime's last thought a bit. But she was determined. She needed a plan, and maybe she needed more than one plan. The ultimate goal of a simple smile on the melancholic Espada's part will not be easy to achieve, but she will get there. She tried forming a concrete plan on how to warm Ulquiorra of the idea of a simple smile, nothing to flashy, but all her thoughts just led her to one place. The quote said it all. 'A smile is a light in the window of the soul indicating that the heart is at home'. She needed to _somehow _make Ulquiorra believe in the concept of the heart and soul, before he can ever feel happiness to smile.

Orihime was thinking so hard, she did not know how much time has passed before Ulquiorra stood up. Thirty seconds? One minute? Five minutes? An hour? She didn't know.

"I have to go, woman. I will be back with your dinner in a few hours." With that, Ulquiorra turned on his heels and left, almost as suddenly as he came.

Orihime wasted no time. She already thought of what to do first. Grabbing a piece of paper and a blunt pencil, she ran to the dining table. Immediately, with her best, cheerful handwriting (even handwriting had moods and emotions to Orihime), she wrote a large heading, "**Orihime's Guide To Smiling**".

* * *

**Well this is my first attempt at romance! I'm not too confident at this whole romance business. Is it too long? (This is definitely the most I have ever wrote) Too short? Not enough romance or fluff? Noticed my weird tendency to shift back and forth from Orihime's and Ulquiorra's point of view? Anyone OOC? See any grammar mistakes? (I could not decide on a common tense to use throughout the story.) **

**Oh, and this isn't a long, drawn out fic, hell, I may even finish it off before this week before my tests! (Yes, because I have a very bad sense of timing, I started this fic when my tests are next week. I was in dire need of a creative outlet.)**

**I will appreciate ANY sort of criticism or encouragement. From the bottom of my heart, unlike Ulquiorra! Heck, I will even appreciate it if you call me a dirty whore or whatever, because at least you bothered reading and commenting. (:**


	2. Chapter 2

The Cuatro Espada slipped his pallid hands into his pockets and fell back into the abyss of his deep thoughts. He expected the 'social interaction' with the woman to be a complete failure, figuring that the woman would be so frightened of him she would be quaking in her sandals to even make eye contact with him.

But no. Like what Ulquiorra said (or thought), the woman is different. Not only was she unfazed by his intimidating presence, she was even _interested_ in knowing about him. Nobody has ever tried making conversation with Ulquiorra, because they knew that he would not respond. To his surprise, the woman talked to him just like he was anyone, even a _friend_. To his larger surprise, he himself even made an effort in responding.

Upon reaching his quarters, he noticed something amiss in his impeccably neat room. No, something wasn't _missing_. Something was _there_. His perceptive green eyes moved to the ground. Lying on the floor, as if it had been slipped under the crack of the impeccably white door, was a neatly folded piece of lined paper.

Inquisitively, he bent down and picked it up. Smoothing out the edges, he read the neat block letters, written clearly across the lines.

_**Orihime's Guide to Smiling  
**__1. Put two fingers at either corner of your mouth._

_2. Pull both fingers up._

_3. Repeat until smile looks natural._

Ulquiorra was at a complete loss of words. He read the large block letters at least three more times, trying to deduce any hidden meaning behind it, or wondering whether it was a cryptic code from the enemy that needs to be deciphered. However, the woman's words about her little quest came rushing back to his head. "I will make you smile!" She cried out in her girlish voice, yet strong determination shining through and through.

Ulquiorra allowed himself to express just a little emotion, so he closed his eyes, exhaled a little louder and ran a light hand through his jet black hair. What a daring woman. He thought. She is getting more interesting as time passes.

Yet why does she persist in such pathetic matters? She must know that there is absolutely no way that Ulquiorra will try being _optimistic_ just like she is. No. Ulquiorra is not an optimist. What is the point in seeing good in things, when there aren't any at all? He is not a pessimist either. Morbid thoughts of despair are for the pathetically weak. He is an absolute realist. He sees whatever there is to see; nothing more, nothing less. He did not understand how the woman cannot grasp such a simple concept.

And why is the woman so interested in helping him be more human? All humans were trash and all emotions are unnecessary. Why does she want to degrade him into something lesser than his current state? Well, she certainly did not have any ill intentions, Ulquiorra was sure. The woman is much too pure to even think of harming others, even if is the enemy.

But there was that one slap. Ulquiorra felt the tugging in his chest. He also recalled how she rushed to heal the lowly arrancar girl who wanted to kill her, and he nearly sneered. What a contrast. Ulquiorra did not physically harm her in any way, and he gets a slap, that was so hard he felt his tough hierro tingle a bit. Yet the trash were about to kill her, and they get healed in return.

But emotional pain is always more painful than physical pain. The tugging sensation pulled harder.

In his discomfort, he turned around, to see himself in the full-length mirror; pale, emerald-eyed, yet nonchalance being slightly betrayed. He fully turned around to study himself. Obviously he was beyond vanity, but he wanted to try something. His fingers slowly made their way to his blackened lips. They stopped, hovering at the corners of his mouth. They made contact with the corners of his blackened lips. He was on the brink of pulling his fingers up when he realised what he was doing. Snapping back into reality, he retracted his fingers so quickly it was as if his own face burned him.

Ulquiorra actually obeyed the woman! To think that a human had the authority to tell him what to do! This time he let emotion out full force. He scowled, but after that, drew out a long sigh. The woman was _so _confusing.

* * *

Under her breath, Orihime hummed happily. She managed to slip out of her room, and get to Ulquiorra's room in time to slip in that prized piece of paper. She couldn't believe she found his room so fast, but the tour of Las Noches was still fresh in her head. Right now she was making her way back to her room.

Of course she waited for Ulquiorra to go out of the palace, so that he won't be able to detect her 'escaping' and send her straight to Aizen without hearing her out. Orihime didn't want to hand him the paper directly either. She didn't want him to mock her upon receiving the paper, or to react so badly by completely obliterating it with a cero or something like that in front of her.

Why was she so interested in her little quest, though? Orihime furrowed her eyebrows a bit, brought her finger to her full lips, and cast her glance upwards, thinking. It's mainly because that her stay in Hueco Mundo was completely vacuous and there was nothing worthwhile to do, but something told her that it was more than that.

Orihime let her hand drop to her side and sighed. Truth be told, it's those _eyes _that are simply begging for something. The image of the vividly, unreal green eyes, emotionless in façade, yet yearning for _something_ so badly, flickered in the forefront of her mind. Orihime does not know what those eyes exactly want, but she thinks she knows what they _don't _want. They _don't_ want to be hollow anymore. They want something meaningful, something to live for. But yet, the owner of those vivid eyes refuses them that, and blocks out whatever hidden meaning there is in life. Because according to the viewer, life is whatever life is, and nothing more.

Orihime knitted her eyebrows together, and let a small frown form in her normally soft features. Is her hypothesis really true? Can Ulquiorra truly be yearning for something and yet remain unaware that he was yearning for something? She did not want to risk thinking too much. But those _eyes. _They were just _calling _for help, and Orihime could never accept someone's sufferance when that sufferance can be avoided.

Her profound train of thoughts was now going at a hundred miles per hour, but a loud voice caused it to abruptly stop.

"Yo, Hime-chan!"

She let out a little gasp and whipped her gaze from the ground, where it was previously fixed at.

"Grim-Grimmjow-san," she gasped out, still recovering from the sudden interruption of her thoughts.

"Eh, what's wrong, girl? Still emo about Kurosaki and Co.? Damn, I'd whoop his ass if he shows up!" At that thought, Grimmjow's grin stretched, baring his canine (or feline?) teeth.

"No, Grimmjow-san! I'm just thinking…"

She fixed her gaze back on the ground. After all, it wasn't easy to look at Grimmjow. He was practically one foot taller than her. One foot including his spiked up blue hair.

"Goddammit, ya sound like that emo bastard, Ulquiorra." At this rather uncouth statement, something lit up in Grimmjow's violently blue eyes. "Oho! Ya thinkin' 'bout Emospada, is that it?"

Upon seeing Orihime's cheeks flush as she stuttered something incomprehensible, Grimmjow's Cheshire grin widened.

"Yeah, both of ya have that whole depression thing goin' on." Grimmjow pondered for a bit, before adding as an afterthought, "And actually, Ulquiorra has been PMSin' a lot more than usual. I wonder why…?" He grinned his million watt grin at Orihime again, purpose gleaming in his cerulean eyes.

Orihime hated to admit it, but her face felt like it was on fire. To be honest, she wasn't very sure what her relationship was like with Grimmjow, but it was good enough that he didn't treat her like how he does to lower arrancar. Maybe he felt indebted to her after she restored his rank, so he probably treated her decently and gave her attention as a result. He even had a term of endearment for her.

Yet whatever Grimmjow was saying was enough to set her face aflame. She knew exactly what he was implying, though she had no idea as to why he would say that. But was Grimmjow on her side?

At this exact point, Grimmjow said, "Damn, and I used ta think Ulquiorra was a queer. But maybe he'd stop lickin' Aizen's ass if he had somethin' else to lick-"

Orihime automatically shut off whatever Grimmjow said next. This could not get any more embarrassing. Despite Orihime's close-to-zero knowledge of… dirty things, she knew whatever Grimmjow was saying isn't the purest. Orihime could also more or less tell that Grimmjow was on her side.

But she thought of his words' implication. No! She didn't like Ulquiorra, especially _not _in that way! He was the enemy, for goodness' sake! And the last time she checked, she _loved_ Kurosaki-kun before she arrived here!

But amidst all those arguments, a little skeptical voice spoke calmly, almost as calmly as how Ulquiorra speaks. "Well then what's up with your thing with the green eyes? And what's up with the smiling quest? And most of all, why is your face so red?"

Orihime shuddered. The thought felt so wrong, yet it excited her somewhere. Helping others out of their sufferance gave her joy, and she definitely wanted to help Ulquiorra. But she doesn't _like _him _that_ way. No. Not ever. She will not admit it, not even to herself.

Suddenly, something ingenious hit Orihime. It just struck her like how inspiration does to artists, and boy did she just receive a huge dose of inspiration.

"- And maybe ya could do somethin' 'round his hollow hole, that twisted bastard has like a _fetish_ about hollow holes-"

"Grimmjow-san." Orihime cut in softly.

"What? Ya turned on?"

"Can you help me with something? I think this is something you will enjoy doing."

"Hell no, girl, I don't do threesomes!"

"No, Grimmjow-san!" She squeaked, her face seeming to have no limit of turning red. Without giving Grimmjow time to divulge into his dirty imagination, she spoke very quickly about her little quest, and her first plan to make Ulquiorra smile.

After she was done, Grimmjow eyed her skeptically. "Ya know, it probably won't work."

She hung her head low, and disappointment filled her ash-coloured eyes. Even Grimmjow doubted her plans.

But then his maniacal grin came back full force, and he said, "But hell, what's a lil' fun, huh? Tell ya what, Hime-chan, I'd do it happily. Even free of charge, because this is just too damn precious to miss," He paused, before barking, "But that still don't mean ya don't owe me anymore favours! I saved yer ass back there from those crazy bitches! Don't ya forget that!"

Orihime hastily nodded. This is exactly why she is unsure about her relationship with Grimmjow.

* * *

Ulquiorra made his way to the woman's room, coattails swishing about before him. The arrancar servant trailed behind him, pushing the cart of food. He was unsure of what the woman would say about the brave note she wrote, and whether he should bring it up. No matter. Right now, his duty is to make sure that his guard eats, and thankfully, she probably will.

Upon reaching the door, the arrancar servant bowed and left, Ulquiorra not acknowledging him at all. Ulquiorra rapped once on the door, as he always does, and stepped in.

A very interesting sight greeted him. The woman was standing erect on the arm of the sofa, and she seemed to be holding a pail up against the ceiling, as if trapping something on the ceiling with the pail. Her eyes were wide with fright, and her body was quaking. Ulquiorra felt something in his chest jolt. What happened? Is she in pain?

"Ul-Ulquiorra-san! There's a lizard on the ceiling!" The woman cried breathlessly, her rather large chest heaving up and down.

All his worries and concerns vanished and instead annoyance replaced it. "I fail to see the threat in that," Ulquiorra said tonelessly, as if bored. Is the woman that afraid of just a little hollow animal?

"N-n-no, you don't understand! I-I'm _terrified _of lizards!" She answered his unasked question, and shuddered just at the sound of the word.

She let out a sudden shriek. "I felt it moving!" She cried.

"What do you want me to do about it, woman?" Ulquiorra stated.

"I know, I have a plan. Look, there's a broom behind you. Take that broom, and hold the stick against the base of the pail, so that you keep the lizard trapped on the ceiling. I will run to Szayel-san's lab and ask for some pest spray." The woman shuddered again, the thought of killing an animal, even a pest, coming across as disturbing to her.

Ulquiorra really wanted to roll his eyes, and his annoyance was fast increasing. Who was the woman to order him around, anyway? But it was part of his orders to make the woman feel as comfortable as possible, so he decided that he might as well abide to her orders and help her eliminate the source of her discomfort.

"Take your hands off the pail, so that I can dispatch of the lizard." Ulquiorra said, though hating that he had to do something so menial.

The woman shrieked shrilly again, which was grating on his nerves. "N-n-no, Ulquiorra-san! W-w-what if it jumps on my h-h-head?" She quaked harder.

In a restrained eye roll, Ulquiorra cast his gaze just fractionally higher. "If you insist, woman," he stated.

With that, he took the broomstick into his hands, and pushed the stick against the base of the pail, holding it in place. The woman shot him a quick, warm, smile, which made something in his chest flutter. It was quite a pleasant feeling, but it confused Ulquiorra.

"I'll be right back," She assured. She took her hands off the pail, hopped off the arm of the sofa, and ran out the door, doing all three actions rather swiftly, leaving Ulquiorra in the absurd position of standing on the floor, propping a broomstick up to hold the pail against the ceiling.

Since he was alone, Ulquiorra finally rolled his eyes full force, relieving himself of the urge of wanting to do so for the previous minute. Who knew the woman was so jumpy? He thought that this was the most ridiculous thing he had to lower himself to do in his career as an Espada. But his task of keeping a woman alive has brought quite a number of benefits, Ulquiorra supposed. He has not figured out the ultimate formula to anticipate how a human would react to certain situations. More specifically, he has not figured how the woman managed to do the opposite of everything he ever expected her to do.

Ulquiorra suddenly realised something very suspicious. He narrowed his eyes. Why was the pail so heavy against the broomstick? Should it not be filled with air? His eyes widened fractionally. Was the pail on the ceiling filled with… liquid?

Suddenly, Ulquiorra heard a sharp static sound punctuate the still air. Someone has just sonidoed behind him. Ulquiorra was about to turn around but the intruder instead slapped him hard... on the bottom. Ulquiorra was caught completely off guard, and never in all his fighting experience had he ever anticipated to be hit in the… buttocks. In his shock, his arm muscles loosened up, which sent the broomstick crashing down, and along with that, the pail, and a tidal wave of water. It came down with a roaring splash, and hit Ulquiorra with a large force, soaking him from top to bottom.

While he was trying to recover whatever was left of his dignity, he heard roars of deep laughter and uncontrollable giggles. He turned to see both the woman and… Grimmjow, clutching at their sides, bending over in their hysterical laughter.

After most of the laughter died down, he mustered up the tatters of his elegance and said calmly, "I fail to find this amusing."

"Nah, ya generally fail at life." Grimmjow retorted, grinning like a crazed murderer. Well, he _is _a crazed murderer.

But the woman was watching Ulquiorra intently. It looked like her laughter was short-lived, as she seemed disappointed now. "Grimmjow-san, it didn't work." She stated, sadness eating at the edges of her voice.

"Yeah, didn't I say that it wouldn't, Hime-chan?" Grimmjow said indifferently.

"What didn't work?" Ulquiorra asked, feeling a little peeved that the woman actually associated with Grimmjow to plan an assault on his dignity and pride. And since when did Grimmjow use that ridiculous pet name?

"You didn't smile." The woman whispered, hanging her head and fiddling with the pleats in her skirt.

Ulquiorra, again, was at a complete loss of words. Why _did _the woman go through so much trouble in thinking of elaborate schemes just to get him to smile? Is his smile that desirable for her?

"How pathetic. I will not show any emotion at all, as all emotion is unnecessary." Ulquiorra said monotonously, as if reading from a textbook.

"Aw crap, here goes the emo fag and his emo poetry that doesn't rhyme." Grimmjow groaned, which in turn received an intimidating glare from Ulquiorra.

Grimmjow completely ignored this glare. "Well I gotta run, woman, I actually skipped Aizen's dumbass meeting to do this shit. It was fun shit, though."

Before Ulquiorra could say anything about how Grimmjow's work attitude was completely pathetic, Grimmjow started to trudge out. He stopped at the door, paused, and said, "Oh, and Ulquiorra?"

"What?" Ulquiorra said, restraining his annoyance fairly well.

Grimmjow turned around, giving Ulquiorra a gleaming cerulean gaze full of amusement and mocking. "Nice glutes," He said cheekily, shooting him a lopsided feral grin. With that, Grimmjow left quickly enough, so that he won't get cero-ed in the head.

The woman's cheeks were tinged considerably.

Ulquiorra closed his eyes to control his surge of anger at Grimmjow. He opened his eyes again and heard the woman whisper, "Souten Kisshun, I reject."

Warmth enveloped him and an orange shield manifested in front of him. The water seeped out to be replaced with dryness, and after the shield shattered, he felt just like he did before the whole incident.

Orihime looked deeply into his doll-like eyes and sincerely said, "I'm sorry, Ulquiorra-san. I didn't mean to make you mad. I just wanted to see you smile." After all, when inspiration hit her, she thought maybe understanding humour would be one step in being able to smile, but obviously the Espada had no sense of humour. Orihime was right initially, before being able to understand happiness, Ulquiorra needs to understand emotion, and in turn he needs to understand the concept of a heart. It's almost like a linear equation.

With those words of upmost sincerity, she swore she saw something soften in Ulquiorra's eyes.

Ulquiorra asked, "Why do you insist on seeing me smile, woman?"

Orihime broke her eye contact when he asked that, and instead shuffled her feet around and fidgeted with the hem of her jacket. She knew he'd eventually ask that, but it's not that she could reveal to him her whole hypothesis of his beautiful eyes just melodramatically screaming for help, and how every fibre of his being is rejecting things when they shouldn't and when they don't want to either.

"Well… I think that… even if you say you have no emotions; you actually do, though you're either too proud to admit that you do, or… you don't want to?"

"That doesn't correlate with my question."

"A smile will complement your eyes better!" Orihime blurted out, before covering her mouth with her tiny hands comically. She didn't mean to say that, but she did anyway.

Ulquiorra looked at her silently, so Orihime decided to continue, no matter how awkward it was now. "Your eyes are easily the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, Ulquiorra! I mean, nobody back on earth has eyes as green or as vivid as yours. Even that Espada, Halibel-san; her eyes aren't as expressive as yours."

Orihime saw his eyes widen, and she blushed, suddenly scrutinizing her feet. After an awkward silence, Ulquiorra said, "My eyes cannot possibly be expressive as I restrain emotion as much as possible."

Orihime felt a little ruffled at that statement. "Not really, Ulquiorra! You're actually more expressive than you think, you know! And also, aren't indifference and coldness emotions? It's like transparency being a colour, right?" Orihime paused. "Wait… is transparency even a colour?"

Ulquiorra continued looking on at her, as if waiting for her to voice her ramblings, so she did.

"But that's not fair! I mean, _if_ transparency isn't a colour. That's almost like prejudice towards colours! Lady GaGa wore a transparent dress in one of her music videos, where she dances around bath tubs with her back-up dancers that wear leotards, yet everyone thinks it's a pretty dress! I do to! Transparency _is _a colour, though a special one, so therefore indifference _is _an emotion, though a special one!" Orihime managed to say everything in one breath. "So I just refuted your point! Ha!" She jubilantly concluded.

Orihime's triumph was only met with the blank face of Ulquiorra. She blushed. She probably lost him when she started talking about Lady GaGa.

"I have absolutely no idea of what you are talking about." Ulquiorra finally said.

"Yeah, I sort of realised," Orihime mumbled under her breath.

Ulquiorra just observed her quietly for a few more moments, before he said, "Eat. I'll be back in an hour to collect the tray."

He turned around, coattails swishing along with him, and he made his way to the door, before abruptly stopping in the doorframe. Orihime looked at him, a mixture of puzzlement and expectancy evident in her grey eyes.

"So are yours, woman," Ulquiorra said, almost hesitantly.

"... Heh?" That was the most intelligent reply Orihime could muster.

"Beautiful." Ulquiorra stated. He realised his mistake before quickly adding, "Eyes, I mean."

Ulquiorra turned his head just a fraction towards Orihime, his emerald eyes betrayed the immense amount of pride injury he just suffered, and a little of... embarrassment. He moved to leave, a little too quickly.

Orihime's face was on fire for what seemed to be like the fifth time today. She looked behind her at the wall mirror, saw her shimmering grey eyes, and felt a little burst of warmth all over her chest that spread throughout her whole body, fizzing in the top of her head and the tips of her toes.

That was the sweetest thing anyone ever said to her! She gushed to herself. Even people like Kurosaki-kun never said that to her. She subconsciously frowned at that thought. Truth be told, Kurosaki-kun never really was anything but brotherly towards her, even if her feelings are far from sisterly. But yet here she was, isolated from the world, and growing fonder of her enemy day after day.

She cast Kurosaki-kun out of her thoughts, and when she started thinking about Ulquiorra, her radiant smile, complimented with the tint of her cheeks were back on her face. Actually, she thought Ulquiorra had quite a knack at making things awkward, especially when it comes to social things, but he never realised, nor did he care. His lack of knowledge at the social field was quite cute, really, and it was very admirable that Ulquiorra didn't give two hoots about what people thought of him. And who knew Ulquiorra was such a hopeless romantic? Her thoughts wandered to the possibility of Ulquiorra watching chick flicks in his room with a bowl of popcorn and a tissue box at hand, and she laughed internally.

For now though, she needed another plan. Humour is obviously not the way to go. No, this time, Orihime had to do a deep philosophical lecture with Ulquiorra. She had to convince him of the concept of a heart and a soul. She simply had to let that inner romantic out!

* * *

**WHEW. THIS TOOK FOREVER.**

**I mean I started this chapter immediately after my tests (which ENDED TODAY, YAY!). Haha, yeah, so much for 'finishing this story before the end of the week'. Sorry ):**

**Anyway I want to thank all of you for the favourites/alerts/reviews/hits, getting like an email from makes me feel so fizzy inside!  
**

**And I hope that you'd consider Grimmjow IC. I know normally he's really mean to Princess, but if he were mean to Princess there is no way I could have written this prank with it being as funny as it is (I hope!). I dunno, I think it's in Grimmjow to be really nice and funny when he wants to, and it's also in him to be as scary as hell.**

**And the idea of the prank I wrote in here is what I got from a RayWilliamJohnson video (you know the YouTuber that makes comments on viral videos)? Yeah. That prank was hilarious. So not my idea, and I never tried it!**

**So if you detect any OOC (I'm also a bit scared with Ulquiorra, because I portray him with emotions whereas some people don't at all, but judging from the anime, I think those emotions are hiding somewhere, in denial), or you have any constructive criticism, feel free to review! It's like 2am now so my narrating may not have been very consistent. (8/1: I redid the last part of the chapter to make it sound less awkward. Boo for late night writing!) Yep (: Tanks everybodeh!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Her hair was the colour of sunshine. Warmth, brightness, joy… the sun, basically, of which Ulquiorra knew nothing about. All he knew of were white walls, black sky, white moon. The only colour he probably knew of is crimson, that is, if bloodshed could be considered colourful. Yet the woman crashed into his life, her hair, no, her very being, radiating warmth, brightness, joy… of which he never experienced.

Her eyes were the colour of moonlight. Ashen, shining eyes, reflecting whatever emotions she felt at the pits of her soul, like a silvered mirror. The grey eyes were clear and alive with the woman's passion, yet they were also infuriatingly mysterious, shrouded in the mist of the woman's vague reasoning of everything. The woman _never _did as Ulquiorra expected, nor did she _ever _do anything that Ulquiorra comprehended.

He could, and after a week, cannot understand her.

Inoue Orihime is an irony. Hair the colour of the sun, eyes the colour of the moon. She does one thing that Ulquiorra can understand; she does the next thing that he cannot understand. She talks of her friends with iron-like determination; she talks of the heart with a misty vagueness.

And Ulquiorra was more drawn to her than he ever could be.

* * *

Is she starting to see herself in him? After all, they had a lot in common. Bright orange hair, expressive eyes, burning determination, and a kindness to every creature, be it friend or enemy.

They say opposites attract. Maybe that would explain why the prospect of Kurosaki-kun being her knight in shining white armour is starting to get her… jaded.

Jade. Like Ulquiorra's eyes. And the hilt of his-

Orihime's eyes widened in alarm. She was doing it again! Orihime had a racing train of thought, but recently, that train only seemed to head to one destination: Ciffer Ulquiorra.

They flashed again in the train tracks of her brain. Jade, emotionless, yet pleading. She sighed, and glanced at what she had been childishly doodling.

There was a spiky-haired, lanky boy, in white armour, standing victorious, while a man with a mop of black hair lay on the ground, defeated. A girl with flowing hair stood behind them in an ivory tower behind, staring at her knight dreamily, dizzy with love and joy. The sun behind them was smiling down at the scene of happy reunification and smugly deserved comeuppance below.

This would have been a nice drawing if only there wasn't a huge cross, hastily tearing across cliché.

Orihime wanted to laugh at how… _ironic _this painting was. Kurosaki-kun always wore black, and Ulquiorra was always immaculately white. The painting should have a crescent moon smirking at loss instead of a sun celebrating gain. She glanced at her drawn self and frowned. Is she an irony too? Would she be in the ivory tower, heart swelling with love at her savior, or would she be at the side of the enemy, weeping that he never got the help he needed?

Orihime feared that the latter would probably happen.

The worst part of the painting was that Orihime did not have colour pencils. There was no way in telling the viewer that the enemy had the most beautiful eyes in existence. They also would never know that the enemy once smiled with complete sincerity, because the girl with the flowing hair made him do so, despite all the pain he only knows of.

Though Orihime wasn't sure that colour could tell the viewer that. It was also probably honest to admit that Orihime had not gotten around in doing that yet. Getting Ulquiorra to smile, that is. It has been a week, but no progress at all. Ulqujorra strangely listened to whatever she talked about, and sometimes she could see the slightest emotion—normally irritation and some form of apathetic bemusement—rising but quickly ebbing away in his irises.

She heard the oh-so familiar three smart raps, then the sound of the door swooshing open. She looked up at Ulquiorra, who shifted his eyes across her room.

"Ulquiorra-san," Orihime greeted. She no longer stuttered his name out.

Orihime tried her best to subtly shift her back in order to hide what she has been doodling. It didn't work, because she saw Ulquiorra's cat-like pupils register that slight movement. He didn't probe, though.

"I'm here to socially interact with you again, woman," Ulquiorra dead-panned.

Orihime giggled. That never got old! He kept saying that every day despite Orihime stressing that he doesn't have to announce whatever intentions when it comes to social things. Humans don't really do that; it's awkward, she said. Obviously he didn't listen. He doesn't bother about humans.

Orihime wanted to ask about her friends but she stopped herself in time. Normally conversations with Ulquiorra about her friends led to frustration on his part and tears on hers. Besides, she hasn't felt any sign of their presence in a long, long time. No, the signs _were _there, but they were so small that Orihime soon got… what's that word she used? _Jaded. _Jaded of being stuck in the limbo of wanting to be saved, yet at the same time wanting to protect herself. Jaded of wishing her friends were here, yet at the same time wishing that she was alone in comfortable silence with her captor and his jade, jade eyes.

Wait. Did she just think that?

* * *

The woman was staring at him. Again. Ulquiorra felt irritation tug oh-so slightly at his thick eyebrows. She appeared to be in deep thought, as always.

"What are you contemplating?" He asked, breaking the silence.

The woman jumped. She let out a startled gasp and her eyes focused once more on his face.

"Your reaction is foolish, woman," Ulquiorra stated, though he didn't add in the part that he thought it was endearingly foolish.

"Sorry, Ulquiorra-san."

Her silvery orbs suddenly lit up. She rummaged through a thick stack of paper, yellowed with age (they didn't have a constant supply of paper at Hueco Mundo), and pulled out a drawing. In her haste of pulling out a piece of paper, she didn't notice that a few loose leaflets fell out and floated gently to the ground, rustling as they settled. Some of them landed face down, but one happened to be facing up. Ulquiorra eyed it curiously. A pair of eyes, intensely shaded, with slits instead of regular pupils, was drawn there. After a while, his insides recoiled when he realised that the pair of eyes were his. If this was what the woman drew in her free time, what else could there be in that thick stack of the woman's mindless drawings?

"- and this is Grimmjow-san, with pink hair, though you don't really know it's pink because it's not coloured. And Szayel-san here has blue hair, which you can't tell either. And both of them are wearing bunny costumes, because I was particularly craving Easter Egg Risotto while I was drawing—Ulquiorra-san, you _are _listening, right?"

Ulquiorra's gaze snapped back to the woman's slightly indignant face when she said that, but it was too late. She followed where his gaze was previously upon. Her cheeks suddenly blushed deeply, the colour just like the crimson of Aizen-sama's sash.

Ulquiorra was starting to take note of the increasing occurrence of this phenomenon, and he could not keep his question to himself anymore. "Woman, why is your face red?"

At this question, the woman's face flushed even more, if that was physically possible. She spluttered a bit before awkwardly tossing her head down, effectively blocking her youthful face with dense orange locks. Bending down, she quickly gathered up the loose sheets of paper, but again, in her hurry, one sheet fell out. Ulquiorra could vaguely make out a lot of black and two lone figures, but the woman snatched it up before he could clearly see what it was.

"Why is your face red?" He tonelessly repeated, keeping his irritation at not understanding the woman's actions out of his cool voice.

"Ah… It's h-h-hot?" The woman lamely suggested.

"Even an idiot like Yammy can tell that you are lying."

"I'm embarrassed!" She blurted out, before gasping and covering her mouth with her tiny hands, eyes wide.

"At what?" He asked, with a little edge in his voice. The woman is tiring him by making him ask incessant questions. Why can she not just explain everything she did, without melodrama, and with common logic he can understand?

The woman looked up at him with confusion, as if not believing that he still did not understand why her face was so red. "You saw that right?"

"Your mindless drawing? Yes, I did."

"Hey, they aren't _mindless! _If drawings of you are mindless, then I have _more_ mindles_s _drawings!"

An awkward pause ensued. The woman understood what she just said with horrific realization. She shut her eyes, and buried her face in her small palms, groaning. Ulquiorra almost wanted to smirk. The woman was so foolish, yet very amusingly so. Her naïve impulsiveness was something fresh, something he never experienced himself. Everyone in Hueco Mundo had witnessed horror and violence; everyone had moved beyond innocence and youthful rash behaviour.

Suddenly the woman burst into a bright grin herself. "You're smiling, Ulquiorra," She crowed. "Well, half_ish_, I guess, in your Ulquiorra emotionless way." Her grin disappeared as fast as it came. "But you're not smiling because of happiness. You're laughing at me, aren't you?"

Ulquiorra noted the lack of honorifics. He didn't mind, though. However, he was beginning to feel overwhelmed by the woman's random outbursts and sudden swings in temperament. First she was mortified, then jubilant, then victimized. Ulquiorra could not wait until he figures out the mystery behind the complex human mind.

"I am not laughing at you, woman. Neither was I smiling. However, I am fairly interested in knowing what other mindless drawings you possess."

The woman sucked in her breath. After a while, she exhaled, and started selecting a few sheets of paper from the tall stack on her desk. It seemed that in the past week, all she had been doing is drawing, since Aizen-sama thought it would be healthy for the guest to have what he called a 'creative outlet'. Aizen-sama probably deduced that his favourite Espada wasn't the most cheerful and positive person to have for company while in the clutches of a ruthless kidnapper, so he was being more and more liberal with the girl, appearing to genuinely care for her wellbeing when this is actually all part of his scheme for power. And Ulquiorra just followed, as Aizen is his master, and he is the servant without a say.

"Alright! Here!" Ulquiorra glanced at the woman, to see her gesturing excitedly to the desk, where a few drawings have been neatly laid. His insides squirmed again when he noticed he was in all of them, and a strange, molten warmth surged through his chest.

"See, this one is you on MySpace, because you always remind me of the kids with swooping haircuts and the make-up, and they always take pictures of themselves with fancy SLRs, and—"

"I do not wear make-up." Ulquiorra cut across the woman's rant. Again, he was completely lost on what she was talking about. She was probably referring to human popular culture, of which he blatantly did not care for. He had informed the woman of his indifference before, but she didn't listen to him.

"Well, I have an artistic license, right? Anyway, this one is me and you eating ice-cream, because I like ice cream. You can't tell but you're eating green apple, and I'm eating double chocolate chip peppermint with steak sauce and bacon bits." She let out a dreamy sigh, as if tasting the sustenance on the tip of her tongue.

Ulquiorra listened to her detailed description of her pictures. He never appeared to be listening but honestly, he was hanging on to every word, action, and giggle of the woman's. He wasn't particularly amused by the woman's drawing of Grimmjow pointing at him and laughing, though.

Why was he bothering, anyway? Well, Aizen-sama did task him to make sure the woman doesn't fall into the depths of insanity. However, a major part of him was sincerely interested in the woman's thought process, though he never got anywhere in making a real deduction of it, which ultimately infuriated him. This was the irony he was thinking of earlier. But the best part of paying attention to the woman's rambling is her smile. Joyful, carefree, and devastatingly gentle. This gentleness is the woman's devastating power, and she was completely unaware of it.

* * *

Orihime wiped the imaginary sweat off her brow. She had explained each drawing to him, which was quite taxing on her part, because so many thoughts ran through her head when she penned down the pictures. She had one last one to go, the one she was purposely saving for the last. She checked to see if Ulquiorra's gaze was still on her. It was. It always was on her. Fizz bubbled from her chest all the way to her toes. This is another reason why she was so fond of Ulquiorra. It was because he listened and never judged her without sufficient evidence.

The fact that he was so cute is another reason. In his Ulquoirra-ish, emoish, way. Of course she kept this to herself.

"Alright, last one! Finally!" She saw agreement flash across Ulquiorra's eyes and she felt a bit embarrassed again.

She ploughed on, though. "See, this one is of you smiling!"

The calm expression on Ulquiorra's face immediately got upset, before it reverted back in a blink of an eye. Orihime had a hunch that a normal person cannot pick up the changes in Ulquiorra's expression, but she can. It's probably because that when you see only one person for months at end, you tend to take note of whatever idiosyncrasies they have. Ulquiorra's one was obviously involuntary facial twitching, from where she reads his emotions like a book. This is another fact that she kept to herself.

"This pathetic drawing only exists in your idealistic world." He finally intoned.

Defensiveness shot through her. "What do you mean pathetic? It's of you, you know!" She blustered.

People say that Orihime's quite a good artist, when she's not drawing pictures of ice-skating soccer players, or astronauts having a show off with Martians. She thought her work was pretty decent and realistic, if she put her mind to it. And this sketch took quite a lot of effort. She thought that Ulquiorra's smile would be the half-smile sort— dignified, yet genuine. It took a lot of redrawing to capture that elegance and sincerity. She wanted to make it _perfect. _Just like the moment when he would finally smile. _Perfection._ Not would a whole missing half of his world come rushing back to him- a world of emotion and empathy, but Orihime felt that a chip of what's missing in _her _world would be given to her too. The fact that she finally managed to _help _someone, instead of someone having to help _her.__  
_

"I realize the drawing is of me, woman. I look completely pathetic and weak." He coolly stated.

Oh. That's the case then. He wasn't really insulting her drawing skills. He still is staunch on believing that showing emotion equates to being completely vulnerable. And Orihime actually foresaw that this would happen.

Fine. It is time to pull out the big guns.

Orihime inhaled again, deeply. She lifted the portrait of Ulquiorra, and flipped it over. There were several diagrams, almost scientific in nature, and a few flow charts. She realised that Ulquiorra needed hard logic and facts to believe things. Alright then. Hard logic and facts are what she would present.

* * *

**OMGOMGOMG I am SO sorry. It's my rambly mood again, and I realised that I could go on for another eight pages and this would go nowhere.**

**SO. I will split Chapter 3 into half. This is part one. That's why this ended so abruptly. **

**Yes, this story isn't over. I promise it will be next update though! Sorry this is dragging so much ): It's unlike me to drag things out, but I really can't continue this update when the ending is so far away. Thanks for bearing with my wordiness so far though, and my sluggish updates (:**

**And I guess I should confess this. The World Cup is going to go on in two hours! It shows at 2.30 am where I live and I also need to catch some sleep because the next day is school for me. This is also why I can't go on.**

**So yeah. One last thing. HOLLAND FTWFTWFTWFTW! Sorry to you Spanish supporters. You can flame me if you like. It won't change the fact that the Dutch do awesome rebound goals. Or that Sneijder is hot as Mexico. Just sayin'.**

**Update: Fine. Holland lost. On the other hand, whatever Spain! 1-nil? SO unexpected. Right now I would love some nice octopus salad, though.  
And UlquiHime4Life, if you read this, I was kinda kidding about Sneijder being hot. Ish. because well there really isn't anyone particularly hot on the Dutch team and I thought that stating a player that is hot will magically win people's support for Holland. I realise that didn't make sense. And you gotta admit Holland played really defensively last night, though Spain is of course no different. It was quite an underwhelming and boring match, because both sides were so scared of counter-attacking, if I must say so myself ):  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: This chapter gets very technical, especially in the begining. But it's (the whole chapter's) quite short. Thanks for hanging in there (:

* * *

**

Ulquiorra made his best attempt to calmly study the diagrams the woman drew. His cool demeanor did manage to pull through, as his head was clear enough to register each figure and description.

Figure 1 was a simple yet scientific sketch of him, complete with the hollow hole and broken helmet. An arrow pointed to the hollow hole. It's description box read "Lack of _physical_ heart".

He was not amused that there was an additional arrow pointing to his tattooed tear tracks, reading "Eyeliner Stage Cosmetics".

Figure 2 was the same sketch of him, but instead, a messy circle, drawn in haste, surrounded the sketch. At the bottom of a circle, the woman scribbled, "Hypothesised _emotional_ heart. Is the very being of the model, and possibly extends a bit from the model, giving the model an aura of emotion. However, hypothesized heart is currently dormant ".

Ulquiorra read the description of Figure 2 one more time. He decided that he did not understand what the woman was saying. The woman must have predicted his confusion beforehand, because Figure 3 was a detailed flow chart. The very top box read, "What is the emotional heart?" Its large sub-box said "An emotional heart is unofficially defined as an abstract organ that allows humans to feel and empathise. It is the centre of a human's first instincts and personality, though these instincts and personalities differ from person to person. It has been said that the heart is the opposite of the mind, the center of intellect."

The next main box went, "Why the emotional heart exists". The box below it read "Humans are the opposite of hollows," followed by a sub-box, "The difference between both groups is that humans have the capacity to empathise and feel secondary emotions". The next box, drawn with thicker lines of finality, read "Thus, one can conclude that arrancars must have some form of aforementioned emotional heart, because arrancars are a hybrid of humans and hollows."

Ulquiorra paused, trying his best to digest these huge chunks of new information. Well, scientifically, he had to admit that the woman's structure of argument was sound. She managed to state each point clearly, bolster them with enough reasoning, and then draw a sensible conclusion from the point.

Yet the _content _of her argument was something else. He could feel himself rejecting every word she said with cynicism. Pathetic. The woman was really out to make him a weak human. He glanced up at her briefly, to find that she was watching him with bated breath, yet also with some sense of determination and triumph.

He did his very best to ignore her bright, silvery eyes, and glanced back at her diagram. It turned out that he was not finished. The woman had _more _arguments on her… pathetic hypothesis of the human heart. Yes, pathetic.

"The capacity to love and feel is more complex than the capacity to inflict pain." This is followed by, "The very fact that you're reading this and the fact that I had to create this flowchart to explain the concept of hearts proves this point." (The corners of Ulquiorra's lips jerked downwards in a strange spasm.) "Mentioned above, humans are the most complex living beings. What gives an arrancar the factor of being human, is most definitely, the heart." "If you're not convinced, right now, you're probably annoyed." Yes, he was. "Mentioned above, the heart is the abstract organ that feels emotion. Annoyance is an emotion. So you do have a heart." Damn the woman.

The final boxes, meaning her final argument, had bolder lines. It probably meant that they were the more important points. "The opposite of love is not hatred. It is indifference." Exactly, was that not Ulquiorra? Indifferent and apathetic? "However, based on the previous arguments, a human without a heart is not a human, but more like a hollow. So a human that cannot love, nor hate, is not human." "Therefore, the idea of being absolutely neutral—indifferent, is a paradox, because one would cease to exist if one were always indifferent. The result of indifference is an empty shell of a person."

"Because being absolutely indifferent is theoretically impossible, it can be concluded that indifferent people only pretend to be so, rejecting all opinion they may form in order to not seem weak. However, indifference _is _in fact a weakness, as people who lack in emotion lack in complexity; thus they constantly view the world from a morbidly one-dimensional perspective of monotonous sadness and dullness."

Ulquiorra, again, had to reread the last three boxes. After that, he read the whole flow chart yet again. Maybe more than twice. The information would simply not sit. It would not digest. It simply was there without any form of absorption, swimming about in his head.

* * *

Orihime looked at Ulquiorra. Her smile was fading. He had been standing very still for the past ten minutes, and she aching to know what was going on in his head. Unless he suffered from complete sensory overload, and his reflexes have malfunctioned, leaving him just standing there.

"… Ulquiorra-san? You're alright, aren't you?"

Ulquiorra snapped back to attention. He was as confused as he was before, if not more.

"I thought the whole point of this nonsense is to get me to smile, woman, not to force large tracts of information down my throat."

When Orihime heard that, she suddenly had the urge to hit her head against the table repeatedly. He _still _didn't get it. She spent a lot of effort in making that wordy flow chart, and while she was good at logic when she wanted to be, she didn't like being so serious and detailed about something so… _natural. _Seriously. How difficult is it to just smile?

At that thought, she forced herself to relax. No. She cannot be angry. After all, the thing she wanted most was Ulquiorra to understand human emotion, so that he would not be the one-dimensional empty shell of a human. No, this whole "Get Ulqi-chan To Smile Quest" was _not _about getting him to smile. It was to _save _him.

"I will remain cynical about this matter. You should know that after so many thwarted attempts." Ulquiorra added calmly, even though Orihime saw thoughts swimming about in his green eyes.

Something suddenly popped up in her brain. A quote.

"… You know, I heard somewhere, that if you scratch at the surface of a cynic, you'd find a frustrated idealist," Orihime said quietly. She twisted her hands together. She didn't like arguing philosophy with Ulquiorra, especially when he was so much smarter and cynical than she was.

"How surprisingly profound on your part, woman. Yes, that is what I am, I suppose. I believe that all emotions are unnecessary and are a direct manifestation of weakness, and am frustrated at people, specifically you, that do not comprehend my ideals." Ulquiorra replied.

"… That's not the end... The next part is, cynics make the mistake of converting their ideals into expectations," Orihime finished. Ulquiorra remained silent.

"… You see, the problem, Ulquiorra, is that you expect yourself to constantly be the emotionless person you want to be… when… it's not always possible, or necessary, to be that person you idealise as perfect…" Orihime fell into silence herself. She had just honestly said whatever she thought about Ulquiorra.

"You get that, right? I'm saying that you try so hard to be what you think is perfect, but you can't. I'm not really sure how you got the idea that being emotionless is being strong... but that's beside the point. What I mean is... why be in a state of denial? Why do you want to fool yourself into thinking you're something you're not? I mean... I'm sure people would soon see through your façade of indifference… I mean, I did… But what I'm saying is that you don't have to constantly try… because… aren't you sick of being... _jaded_? Aren't you sick of seeing only black and white? Don't you want to see… what's _in between?_"

Orihime paused. She suddenly had the urge to giggle. So she did. She was wearing her heart on her sleeve. But she wanted to do that, because then, Ulquiorra would finally see.

"You may wonder why I just said all that... and I would say it's because I don't like seeing people suffer... but I think it's more than that, you know? I really care about you, Ulquiorra. You don't judge me and you think that I'm capable enough to do... stuff by my own. The thing is, I'm really... _jaded_ myself... I don't want to see _you_ suffer when you don't have to, I guess. You shouldn't be someone you're not." She paused for a bit, before slowly continuing, "And I guess, if you still don't believe me, this is the heart I talk of. ... It's caring for people, even if they don't want to believe, even if they are the enemy. ... I care for my friends, but that doesn't mean I can't care for my enemy."

She knew she was going way out of the line on this one. That is, if she hasn't yet. "And I hope... you learn to care for other people, if not... me."

Orihime stopped. She cast her gaze at her hands, clasped tightly at her mid-abdomen. She closed her eyes, dreading whatever would happen next.

* * *

Ulquiorra just watched, in silent amazement, at the woman before him. He could not believe that he used to think that she was human trash, and that he nearly killed her. The thought repulsed him.

The irony in the woman was shining through and through. He thought her as ditzy, clumsy, but here she was, saying the most profound things of him that he never thought himself.

Finally, he saw. He saw why the world was so dull. He saw why everything was the same to him. He saw why he did not derive any joy from the world.

But from his new perspective of blooming colour and liveliness, something still dazzled brilliantly. The woman, her sunshine locks, her moonlight eyes. She made him see.

Things were falling in place. The complexity of the heart… reflects in how the woman functions. That is the exact reason of why Ulquiorra could not fathom her at all. It was because he did not comprehend the convoluted layers of her beating heart. But now that he was enlightened, he saw all the layers: determination, sadness, power, tenderness, but most of all… just pure heart.

Ulquiorra's heart may be dormant, but he definitely felt the presence of another heart, something so… alive and passionate, he felt it beat opposite him, around him, and maybe even within him. Or maybe it was his _own _heart, the one pulsing dully in his chest. Where his heart lay matters not. What matters is that the woman gave him a heart.

Suddenly, the woman opened her eyes, thick eyelashes fluttering up. Her moonlight eyes caught his forest ones, and then, they crinkled at the corners in the most radiant smile that seemed to burn into his very being. This time he did not feel a tug. He felt a skip.

It was the same smile she used wear to look out of the window, in wait for her friends. But this smile was _different. _Because it was for _him._

The woman took up the abandoned piece of paper. She flipped it over. The picture of him smiling suddenly did not look pathetic.

"You're about to smile," She stated. "And it's as beautiful as I imagined it would be."

The woman took a step so close that her warmth seeped into Ulquiorra's previous coldness. Their bodies were almost touching. She lifted up her two fingers slowly, but without any trace of hesitation.

"Step one, put two fingers at either corner of your mouth." Everything felt like it was going twice as slow as it should be. Her fingers made contact. "Step two, pull both fingers up." The woman did just that, but with gentleness so powerful, Ulquiorra offered no resistance. No, he was still amazed, and his newborn heart was pounding so hard he knew it wasn't natural.

"… Step three, repeat until smile looks natural." Ulquiorra slowly finished.

She flashed a smile so stunning, it just shushed Ulquiorra into submitting and watching what would happen next. Moreover, _it_ was racing in his chest.

Leaving her fingers there, she leant in, closing the remaining distance between them. She pressed her soft lips gently into his, as if sealing the smile in. Her eyes fluttered close, and so did his, and they both witnessed an overwhelming rush of dizzying emotions. They both let the rush take over them. After a while, she removed her slender fingers, and wrapped her arms around Ulquiorra's slender body. He did the same, slowly but without fumbling.

Soon, they broke apart. The smile remained on her face. Brilliance, elation, pride, yet with that devastating tenderness that made everything pale in comparison against it. But Ulquiorra was unsure that tenderness of such magnitude was simply, tenderness.

No, it could be love. The capacity to love.

The smile remained on Ulquiorra's face.

* * *

**YAY! END OF STORY! I is happy!**

**... Actually, not really. I don't think I was very clear on how Orihime gave Ulquoirra a heart. Well, I guess, she did not just HAND it to him, per se, but just by her words and her general tenderness, Ulquiorra just... realised. What a heart is, that is. I don't really mean that he suddenly HAD a heart.**

**I'm sorry if it wasn't a very satisfactory ending. I mean if it's that bad I'd rewrite it, because I was actually considering doing that. The story got so serious at one point I didn't enjoy writing it, so... I dunno :/ You tell me.**

**So yeah. This is my first romance fic, and I hope I didn't screw it up with my ending. Though thinking of a suitable one was very hard to do in the first place.**

**Anyway, enough with the regret stuff. Thanks to all the reviews/alerts/favs/hits, from the bottom of my heart! Having you read is the highest honour you can bestow on me, so I'm very happy if you're reading up until here!**

**I would really appreciate criticism of all sorts, because hey, I'm learning (: Thanks again!**

**19/7 (MAN I NEED TO STOP UPDATING THINGS!): Thanks to Blackcat90 for pointing out my flawed argument! So I rewrote that part a bit, and tried to make it a bit more clear.  
**


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